The Growth Indicator of Meditation: Become more Loveable

If you meditate, sooner or later you will come upon love. If you meditate deeply, sooner or later you will start feeling a tremendous love arising in you that you have never known before—a new quality to your being, a new door opening. You have become a new flame and now you want to share.

If you love deeply, by and by you will become aware that your love is becoming more and more meditative. A subtle quality of silence is entering in you. Thoughts are disappearing, gaps appearing…silences! You are touching your own depth. Love makes you meditative if it is on the right lines. Meditation makes you loving if it is on the right lines. § YOU WANT A LOVE THAT IS BORN OUT OF MEDITATION, not born out of the mind. That is the love I continually talk about. Millions of couples around the world are living as if love is there. They are living in a world of ‘as if.’ Of course, how can they be joyous? They are drained of all energy. They are trying to get something out of a false love; it cannot deliver the goods. Hence the frustration, hence the continuous boredom, hence the continuous nagging, fighting between the lovers. They are both trying to do something which is impossible: they are trying to make their love affair something which is impossible: they are trying to make their love affair something of the eternal, which it cannot be. It has arisen out of the mind and mind cannot give you any glimpse of the eternal. First go into meditation, because love will come out of meditation—it is the fragrance of meditation. Meditation is the flower, the one-thousand-petaled lotus. Let it open. Let it help you to move in the dimension of the vertical, no mind, no-time, and then suddenly you will see the fragrance is there. Then it is eternal, then it is unconditional.

Then it is not even directed to anybody in particular, it cannot be directed to anybody in particular. It is not a relationship, it is more a quality that surrounds you. It has nothing to do with the other. You are loving, you are love; then it is eternal. It is your fragrance. It has been around a Buddha, around a Zarathustra, around a Jesus. It is a totally different kind of love, it is qualitatively different.

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Namaste!

Today, let’s explore something deeply meaningful: how meditation helps us grow in love and become truly lovable—not in a surface-level way, but in a way that transforms us from within.

Meditation takes us to a space of stillness inside, a quiet place beyond our thoughts and distractions. From this stillness, something beautiful begins to arise: love. This love isn’t about attachment or expectations. It’s not something we do; it becomes who we are. It’s unconditional, like the fragrance of a flower that blooms naturally, without effort.

But how do we know if meditation is making us more loving? Here are some questions for self-reflection.

Ask yourself:

  • Am I feeling more love and compassion within me, even when nothing special is happening around me?
  • Is my love less about needing and more about giving, without expecting anything in return?
  • Do I notice myself accepting others as they are, without judgment or a need to change them?

Think about your relationships. Are people feeling more comfortable and understood in your presence? Do your words and actions create harmony, ease, and understanding? Has your ability to listen, without interrupting or judging, grown?

Look deeper: Is your love becoming unconditional? Can you love freely, without seeking anything—not even acknowledgment or appreciation? Do you feel a natural connection to all of life—whether it’s people, animals, or the world around you—without clinging or possessiveness?

As meditation deepens, love changes. It becomes quieter and more profound. Ask yourself: Is there a silence in my love? Can I simply be present with others, without words or actions, and still express love through my very being?

And perhaps the most important reflection: Is my love connected to something eternal? Does it feel like it’s flowing through me, not from my mind but from a deeper, divine place? Is this love free of limitations, a quality of my soul rather than a reaction to external circumstances?

When love comes from meditation, it becomes a part of us. It’s no longer about who or what we love—it’s about being love itself. This kind of love uplifts, heals, and frees.

So, let’s take time to go within and nurture this space. Let meditation open the door to a love that is eternal, unconditional, and pure—a love that transforms us and touches the lives of those around us.

Thank you for reflecting on this journey with me. May your meditation and your love continue to grow, bringing peace and joy to yourself and the world.

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Self-Inquiry Questions:

1. Internal State of Love

  • Do I feel an innate sense of love and compassion, even without external triggers?
  • Is my love becoming less dependent on others’ behavior and more rooted in my own being?
  • Am I able to experience love as a quality of my existence, not as a fleeting emotion?

2. Quality of Relationships

  • Do the people around me feel more at ease, accepted, and valued in my presence?
  • Have I noticed a shift in my interactions where I listen and respond with more empathy and less judgment?
  • Am I more forgiving and understanding of others’ mistakes and imperfections?

3. Unconditional Love

  • Can I love without expecting anything in return, even acknowledgment or appreciation?
  • Do I find myself loving people, animals, or nature without a specific reason or attachment?
  • Is my love expansive, including not only those close to me but also strangers and even those who may have wronged me?

4. Freedom in Love

  • Do I feel free in my expressions of love, without fear of rejection or misunderstanding?
  • Can I allow others the freedom to be themselves, without trying to control or possess them?
  • Has my love become more about giving than receiving?

5. Silence and Depth

  • Does my love carry a sense of silence and depth, rather than drama or superficiality?
  • Am I able to sit in the presence of others, sharing love without words or actions, just through being?
  • Do I feel that my love arises from stillness and meditation, rather than from the mind or emotions?

6. Transformative Presence

  • Have I noticed that my presence brings peace, joy, or healing to others?
  • Do others feel drawn to me without me trying to impress or attract them?
  • Am I cultivating love that transforms and uplifts, rather than drains or demands?

7. Connection with the Eternal

  • Does my love feel connected to something greater, beyond the personal and the temporary?
  • Do I feel love as a divine quality flowing through me, rather than a personal possession?
  • Has my meditation deepened my ability to sense the eternal nature of love?

Reflections After the Inquiry

  • Which questions resonate deeply and reveal areas of growth?
  • Which questions highlight areas where further meditation and self-awareness are needed?
  • How can I integrate these realizations into daily life, making love a natural expression of my meditation?

These questions are not meant to be “answered” in the traditional sense but to guide you into deeper self-awareness. They encourage living and embodying love that is a natural outflow of meditation.

Swami Advaitananda Giri